a joyful Little life...

Happy Valentine's Day

2012-02-14T01:00:00.000-08:00

I have the sweetest Valentine's in all the land & I couldn't be happier!!!

xo.

Advocare 24 day challenge RESULTS

2012-02-09T21:57:00.000-08:00

The 24 days are up...the results are in...

Can't say how much weight I've lost total because my scale is officially broken, but I do know that I lost 3lbs this week (used my mom's scale). I'm guessing I lost about 15lbs on the challenge, at least.

5 inches from my belly
2.5 inches from each thigh
1.5 inches each arm
2.5 inches from under boob area
(other inches were lost in other places, that I'm sure you don't want to hear about ;))

I am still going strong and will continue to work just as hard!

No dairy + No Sugar + No white stuff (flour, potatoes, etc.) + No fatty meats + 5 day a week workouts + Advocare = Healthy & Headache Free Katie

I am going to continue taking Advocare Products and if you'd like to do it too...order from my friend & favorite trainer Debra!!!!

Here is the link to her website... https://www.advocare.com/111017422/Store/ItemDetail.aspx?itemCode=99038&id=A&flavor=1

I'm thrilled with my results and can't wait to see what the next 24 days hold for me! I am feeling healthier & stronger than ever! I do get frustrated when I think of how long it will take me to lose all the weight I need to lose, but I need to remember that I am doing this the healthy way and I will see results, I just need to keep pushing through.

Thanks for cheering me on, friends!!!!
xo.
ps. Just checked my body fat % today...down 5% of body fat! YEAH BABY!!!!!

I promise.

2012-02-06T20:00:00.001-08:00

Song of the day!

2012-01-29T13:25:00.000-08:00

It can be done!

2012-01-20T16:54:00.000-08:00

I went back to the gym today after 2 loooooong, yucky weeks. I had a great workout. I didn't work at my usual 110%...more like 90%. I was concentrating on my form and focusing on how my head was feeling. Regardless, my favorite Polar Heart Rate Monitor watch, told me I burned 675 calories...it felt GREAT & headache FREE.

When I was picking up Isabel & Markus from the kid room, a gal I see all the time, told me I was looking really good. Then she shared her story with me. She had lost over 100 pounds and is working on her last 60! That is SO encouraging to hear! It's not very often you hear those stories from people who have kept off that amount of weight. She is several years older than myself, which makes the weight loss really impressive! She was so encouraging and told me how proud she was of me. She said "If I can do it, you surely can do it."!

Just wanted to write to those of you who are struggling with weight loss, as I am, it CAN be done!!!! Here is a little picture I saw on Pinterest (that lovely time sucking website that I adore)...this spoke volumes to me!!!!!!

xo.

snowy days

2012-01-16T12:38:00.000-08:00

it feels grand to play in the snow & the sunshine

the best part is, it's still snowing...

Advocare Challenge

2012-01-14T16:24:00.000-08:00

I am committing to a 24 day challenge...starting tomorrow (now that I have the results from my MRI)!
I have chosen the Advocare Challenge with the encouragement & support from my amazing trainer & friend, Debra!

Go HERE to join me & to read all the good details! My trainer Debra would LOVE to help you get started...just click on the link above (on HERE) to go to her Advocare website! She's awesome...you'll LOVE her...as do I!

There is an Herbal Cleanse that provides internal cleansing & enhances nutrient absorption.

I will be NOT drinking coffee (GASP...I know) for these 24 days, but there will be Spark to help with some long=lasting energy (lasting 3-5 hours), energy that doesn't spike blood sugar!

I will be eating 5-6 meals a day, spacing them 2 - 3 hours apart (I may need to use my alarm on my phone to make sure I do this). This will be one of my biggest challenges, as I am a frequent meal skipper - I know it's the worst thing you could EVER do!

I will be drinking a 1 GALLON of water every single day.

I will be taking some OmegaPlex, which plays an important role in the transportation of nutrients & helps to promote & boost a healthy metabolism. As well as improving digestion, healthy skin, hair & nails as well.

I will have some help with breakfast by using the Meal Replacement Shakes which nourishes muscle and supports metabolism.

Also, using Catalyst which has amino acids that support & preseve muscle ton, enhances strength & energy during workouts and helps rid the fat, retain the muscle.

All of these descriptions are from my Advocare Book!

This will be difficult, I'm sure. At this point, I'm willing to make some sacrifices to really get my health in order and to start feeling better! Hopefully, this will even help with my headaches (by getting rid of all of those nasty toxins), at the end of this journey. I'm hoping to loose a little weight during this challenge but that is not my main reason. I truly want to be healthy, to rid my body of toxins, help boost my metabolism and hopefully I will exchange bad habits for good ones!

Here's to 24 days of optimum health that will hopefully carry on for a lifetime! Do the Advocare challenge with me...it's going to be AWESOME, really! I can't wait to start! I hear the average weight loss is 10lbs & the averages inches lost is 10!
xo.

snow day & results

2012-01-14T15:57:00.000-08:00

we woke to snow!

the kiddos started ice skating lessons & did a fabulous job...thanks Nonnie & Papa!!

finally, we received the results of my MRI & it showed NO abnormalities with my brain! yay!

2012-01-12T17:20:00.000-08:00

I love that just when I'm feeling a little down, I get blessed with a surge of encouragement from friends & family. Kinda makes me feel a little embarrassed for posting something like I did yesterday. I told my girlfriend Hillary last night that I feel my blog is a little bi-polar, lately! I suppose that is how life is...there are always going to be ups & downs. Thankfully, I always have more ups than downs!

just for fun...here's a little before & after pic of our cute girl...she went to the spa today!

BEFORE

AFTER

Such a sweet girl!

2012-01-11T14:11:00.000-08:00

feeling really discouraged today.
not sure if it's the...

a. constant ache in my head
b. the "what if's" that are haunting me
c. pms
d. the order to not workout till MRI results are in
e. satan poking my button's
f. all of the above

God's promise to me, to all of us, is that He will never leave or forsake us. i'm so thankful for His promises and that the whole world truly is in His hands. i need to remember to rest in that and not let my controling tendancies take over...He's got me...He's got my kids, my husband, my loved ones in His hands & He loves us with an everlasting, unconditional love! God is sooooo good & gracious & wonderful. So, instead of dwelling on uncertainty...i want to dwell on God's goodness today!

silly bub.

2012-01-06T16:16:00.000-08:00

Markus: "Mom, can I eat my lunch at the table."
Me: "Of course."

Apparently, he meant ON the kitchen counter.
I had to sneak a picture before I told him to get down.

good feeling gone...

2012-01-06T14:43:00.000-08:00

stupid headaches...ruined my workout today.

i've now talked to a massage therapist, chiropractor, nurse and next week a doctor. we'll get it figured out, i'm sure. it's frustrating that i'm trying hard to make healthy choices & then my body gives me the middle finger (that's what it feels like, anyway). i'll just keep doing what i can tolerate. glad i have a team of AMAZING people around me who are concerned & trying to help me figure this out too.
for now...bath's...heat...massages...head up & shoulders back...drinking loads of water & eating healthy (gonna try no dairy & gluten free)!

if you see me walking around & my shoulders are up & my head is forward...give me a slap aka love tap & tell me to straighten up & fly right!

hope you are continuing to make healthy choices!
xo.

this is what katie looks like, getting healthy...

2012-01-05T22:22:00.000-08:00

epic day of goodness
sister to sister bonding via telephone
fridge full of healthy treats
hugs & kudos from loving friends

vintage aqua ornaments from great grandma

in-laws who drop anything for me

massage of all massages

tips on how to care for my body

advocare* homework & sharing

chat with my sweet mama

dinner served to my Little loves

dead sea salt bath
hot tea
lavendar wrap on my shoulders

kisses & snuggles from my kids & hubby
epic day of blessings

is it my birthday? nope. this is what it's like when i take care of myself. only a visit to the gym would've made this day better but there were not enough hours in the day. i'll save that for tomorrow.

*more on this later...woohoo!

NOT a new years resolution*

2012-01-02T14:38:00.000-08:00

*WARNING* Really gross BEFORE pics!

January 2011 at my Sister's wedding (my heaviest...someday I'll tell you what that was)...yikes!

Look...I've made progress to a healthier me...

but still a long ways to go!

I'm not one for New Years Resolutions. I've made a lot in the past & I've never followed through with any of them! So, today on the 2nd of January. I'm just making a list of a few things that I'm promising to do for myself that I know are obtainable! ;)

1. Keep track of my food intake...part of that is being completely honest with myself in that regard! I often times can trick myself into thinking that I didn't really eat that cookie or the few fries off of my kids plates! Really, this is being mindful of what I put in my mouth (I know you've heard this before from me). Maybe then I will see some progress in my weight loss, cause I'm a little bit stuck again.

2. Keeping track of how often I'm exercising & pushing through the craziness & the doubt (of others & myself)! My body seems to be getting mad at me/fighting back or satan is pushing my buttons & it feels like I make progress & then things like headaches & a hurt toe or arm try to hold me back. I need to learn when to back off & when to push through.

3. Take care of myself & be who I am supposed to be...not anyone else!

4. I'm not to the point where I have more energy yet, so after hard workouts or before, I need to take care of myself (by eating healthy & taking supplements) so that I have energy to love on my family & not get grumpy cause I'm soooooo exhausted!

Tools:

Taking pictures of myself & posting them so that I will have accountability & so I can see my progress! Please don't stop reading this blog because I posted these!!!!!! :)

My new Polar Heart Rate Monitor Watch

My favorite trainer..Debra

My favorite gym...Thrive Community Fitness & that darn Bosu Ball

My favorite shoes

Myfitnesspal...app & online weight & fitness tracking program...come join me...littlekatiemama!!!

My friends & family who cheer me on

Last but not least, my Heavenly Father, for I can do ALL things through He who gives me strength!

Goals:

To lose the pounds listed on the side of this blog!

To run another half-marathon this year!

To just feel HEALTHY!

I've made a ton of progress over the last 5 months & I want to just continue this but to take it to the next level! I'm proud of myself but want to do more now! I'm going to try (depending on my school schedule...which starts tomorrow...ahhhhhhh) to document more of what is going on in my weight loss journey this year. To not only help me but to help others who may also be struggling! I know it can be done & I know I can be one of those who succeeds! I know you can too!!!!!

Loads of love & healthy wishes to YOU!
xo.
K

better

2011-12-30T13:53:00.000-08:00

good friends, sunshine & doggie's make dreary winter days SO much better!

Christmas

2011-12-30T13:43:00.000-08:00

This Christmas seemed busier than ever and faster than ever! We entertained quite a bit this year, which I always love. I even had some mom's from markus' pre-school class come over...which was very fun. I, of course, forgot to take pictures. :)

We, like every year, had 3 days of Christmas celebrations!

We had dinner with my mom's side of the family on the 23rd...we were really really missing my Grandma, Grandpa & Uncle Rob. Hallberg Christmas just doesn't feel the same without them. It was so fun to see my cousin Treena who surprised us all (mostly her sister Britt) with a visit home for Christmas! So proud of that Navy girl!

My family came over on Christmas Eve day for our "Howell Christmas", which is always my favorite. Time with my family is always treasured & I can never seem to get enough of those crazy kids! Gifts were exchanged while in our pj's, food & coffee were plentiful, there was playing & chatting & Christmas Eve service was attended! It was a sweet day, as always!

We had our own Little family Christmas first thing Christmas morning! The kids were very into giving gifts this year, which made it even more special. The kids were very proud of each gift they picked out for each person in the family! Everyone was extremely thankful, even for the not so fun gifts like underwear. I have to say that my hubby does a great job spoiling me & this Christmas was no different...my faves...Polar Heart Rate Monitor Watch & Pandora bracelet with charms from him & the kiddos!

(Auntie Megs & Uncle Justin...I'm ready for you)

Hubby's Little family came over Christmas day to exchange gifts. They always go way above & beyond & gave us some pretty fun gifts!

We also squeezed in a visit with my Dad's side of the family on Christmas Day. Visiting with my Grandma, Aunt, Uncle & cousins is always wildly entertaining & makes me miss my Grandpa so much it hurts. Markus & he would've been such good buddies. It makes me smile hearing the tall tales & the laughter coming from those Howell men...reminds me so much of Grandpa!

It was a full & sweet Christmas! Made perfect by the precious gift of Jesus, God's own Son! How amazing it is that he was born & gave up His life, so that we may have eternal life with Him in heaven! I love knowing that someday I will be with those precious family members that I'm missing so much right now!

Happy Birthday Jesus!!!!

a christmas surprise!

2011-12-30T12:11:00.000-08:00

wednesday - we were wondering why jovie was digging like a crazy girl...now we know.

the thursday before christmas, we had a surprise...our doodle, whom we had thought had miscarried, had a puppy (right beside my bed - definitely a home birth)! he is the sweetest, cutest, fat little boy. unfortunately, because he is just one, he went to be with another mommy & her puppies, so he could thrive! it was a crazy experience, being a doggie midwife but it was amazing & jovie is a very attentive, good mommy.

cutest shepherd ever!

2011-12-30T11:55:00.000-08:00

once upon a time, in a sweet little nativity play put on by our beloved bellingham covenant pre-school, there was a handsome sweet shepherd, who loved to "ring those bells"!

a christmas doodle

2011-12-18T22:21:00.000-08:00

This is exactly what I would look like & where I would choose to lay, after a jaunt at the beach & a trip to pick out a treat at the store...life doesn't get much better than this!

Right Jovie girl?

crafty? nahhhhh

2011-12-16T15:06:00.000-08:00

i am always full of brilliant ideas...brilliant in my own mind. usually, my ideas flop. today i came up with an idea at the craft store & wouldn't you know...it worked! i have some lovely mommy friends & markus' classmates coming over for a craft/treat/party time next week & i'm thrilled my craft idea didn't flop (so hopefully my party won't either;)! yay!

double bonus. today i also figured out why my christmas cutout cookies never work (it's only taken 10 years & trying 10 different recipes)!

triple bonus...it's a blessing that i even have a second to attempt any of this! yessssss! i SO love this time of year!

craft on my friends!!!
xo.

ps. the picture above was the kiddos visit to Santa in Disneyland...funniest, sweetest & cutest Santa I've ever met in person! too bad we can't see him every year!

pss. here is one of my kids & i most favorite songs of this christmas season!

sweet isabel moment

2011-12-14T20:03:00.000-08:00

this morning, my 9 year old blessing asked me if she was part jewish. we've been talking a lot about how we are part swedish, polish and welsh, etc. she always says "i'm ALL christian". so we discussed the differences between what you are and what you choose to be and explaining the very basic differences between Christianity & Judaism. we talked about Heaven & that because we choose to have faith, to believe that Jesus was sent to this earth to die for our sins, we get to have eternal life in Heaven with those who also believe! well, this just got her all riled up and she explained to me that some of her friends at school don't believe in Jesus or God. she said that she & her bff rylee had tried to tell them that they may not go to heaven but the girls didn't believe them. i tried to explain that regardless of what anyone believes, we still need to love them, care for them and when you have an opportunity, talk about Jesus to them. to which my sweet girl replied, "I'm soooooo taking my bible to school tomorrow."

i wish i had that confidence when it came to telling people about Jesus!

Christmas Blessings...

2011-12-11T14:06:00.000-08:00

Hello,

This is Katie, the author of this blog, you may not remember me due to the length of my absence. I am still here. I've been working hard & playing hard, unfortunately, that leaves little time for blogging. I am currently on Christmas break so I have a little time to update y'all. Here's a little bit of what we've been up to lately.

We had a fantastic trip to Disneyland in early November...we went for 7 fun filled & exhausting days! The kids had a great time although I'm pretty sure the pool was their favorite part of the whole thing! It took us a few days to figure out how Disneyland works & what the kids would like & what they wouldn't (NO on Space Mountain & Mickey Mouse Wheel of Death-Ferris Wheel). We had some rough moments but the last few days of our vacation were really sweet, it was a special time for the four of us. It really deserves it's own post, which I'm sure I'll get to sometime soon. :)

I've been working & going to school & also volunteering with the YMCA for their Girls on the Run Program at Isabel's school. It's been a challenging and extremely rewarding experience. The girls (grades 3-6) were very sweet, energetic & can REALLY run! I really recommend this program to all girls! Isabel & her GOTR buddies just ran their first 5k last Saturday...it was awesome! Isabel is quite the runner & so grown up. She amazes me on a daily basis! She's also brilliant...it's hard keeping up with her! The two of us ran together for the 5k and we did it in record time for us...which was SO exciting! We have another one planned for Saturday at the local Jingle Bell Run supporting the Arthritis Foundation & we did a family 5k on Thanksgiving Day...we are having a great time exercising as a family.

Which leads me to my next update...my health! I've still been working out & eating better! I'm really proud of the work I've done so far. It is sometimes frustrating knowing how far I have to go but I'm taking it slow which is the best way to lose weight, supposedly. :) Lately, I've been working with a personal trainer & she is kicking my butt, which is AWESOME. I've felt muscles I didn't even know I had & a few sessions with her already made a big difference in the way my clothes fit & how I'm feeling. I'm even more excited now about getting healthy. I love that while I'm running I have to hold onto my pants as they are falling off...that's a nice feeling. I've also been working hard at school & my straight A's for this quarter are my great reward!

The kiddos are doing awesome! Markus loves pre-school and all of his buddies. He continues to be a crack up and always keeps me on my toes. He is such a singer, dancer & loves to whistle. He is almost always humming, which I think is totally adorable! He also LOVES to go to the gym with me & hang out with the other kids in the play area! It makes it so much nicer for me to go since he loves it so much! Isabel is little miss high achiever! She is completely brilliant. I feel truly blessed that she is such a good student and that she really loves it too. She still writes me little notes every day, which blesses me. The kids were SO excited to decorate for Christmas this year. It's been SO fun. I remember being excited too. I love watching them pull out each of their ornaments and listening to the stories behind them (that they remember). It brings back memories of my childhood. Being mom to Isabel & Markus is such a blessing! Even though they drive me crazy sometimes, mostly, they are kind, respectful, loving & oh so much fun!

My hubby continues to play hockey & watch hockey & breathe hockey. He did give me a break & didn't get the 24 hour NHL package this year, bless his heart. He did get a new iphone & LOVES that he can keep up with his beloved Canucks so easily & also play Angry Birds & Star Wars games too. It was pretty cute seeing how much my hubby loves Disneyland. He really loves that place.

We still have our sweet Jovie dog too. She is pregnant at the moment but sadly we found out she only has one little puppy in her & the puppy is very small. We're praying that she will be able to have her baby naturally & all will be ok. She is such a blessing to our family...we adore her!!!!

So, there you have it...a Little family update! We are enjoying this Christmas season. Our shopping is done and now we plan to just enjoy one another and our friends & family. It's truly the most wonderful time of the year...

Christmas Blessings...

I heart Woods Coffee

2011-11-03T12:02:00.000-07:00

Top 3 Reasons I heart Woods Coffee

1. Their coffee is DELISH!

2. When I forget my wallet & am having a horrible day, they say to me "You're here all the time, it's on the house!" which makes me cry!

3. When I pull up to the drive thru, they ask me if I want my usual and ask me if I worked out that day...accountability with my coffee...yes please!

Dear Ferndale Woods...you've got a friend in me!!!!

I'll miss you next week!

Love,

Katie aka Giant Redwood Americano with vanilla & cream, 1/2 the flavor, please.

Goals this week - 10/31/11

2011-10-30T21:55:00.000-07:00

Happy Halloween!!!

Just wanted to share my goals this week & share some victories!

Goals
~ eat vegetables at lunch & dinner
~ drink a glass of water first thing in the morning & more during the day
~ really be aware of what I'm putting in my mouth...thank goodness I didn't buy candy for Halloween!
~ run 2 times per week OUTSIDE, workout at the gym 3 times per week
~3 minutes of core work each day (plank, pushups, situps), 5 days a week!

I had a stressful but pretty good week this week! Saying that I have A LOT going on is an understatement. Overwhelmed is my word of the month. However, I have still been working out and eating mostly healthy most of the time, so really that is a big victory, for me. Working out has been a HUGE help in relieving stress. I've been making it a priority & it's been a life saver & a butt kicker. I learned some new exercises at the gym on Friday and today I'm still soooooo sore.

We leave for Disneyland VERY soon & I'm feeling a little frustrated I didn't get as skinny as I'd hoped to be, however, the progress that I've made is outstanding! I have a little rain coat that I bought a year ago that I could barely zip up over just a t-shirt. Today, I can put that jacket on over a t-shirt & a sweater & still have room between the zipper & my belly...VICTORY! I'm feeling strong. I'm feeling SO much better. My husband is complimenting me left & right ;) I'm just gonna run with all of these victories & healthy actions & have a fantastic time in Disneyland!

In case I don't have time to write before Disneyland...my goals for this trip...
~ no comparing to anyone else...I'm looking good!
~ eat healthy while there...remembering to not eat too much so I will feel comfortable & light!
~ drink water & lots of it...lots of walking = lots of water...for the whole fam!

~ relax & enjoy...be in the moment!!!!

Now, I'm all set...I heard at a seminar once you better be careful what goals you write down cause they have a tendency to come true...I'm banking on that!!! You should try it too!!!

Wishing you loads of victories this week!
xo.

9 & 5

2011-10-30T21:35:00.000-07:00

My kids have aged another year. I keep telling them they are supposed to stop growing but they tell me they can't stop...whatever! We had a sweet little party, with most of our favorite people! One girl ended up having a little too much fun...we won't mention any names (ahem...Bella Noel). After the party was over I realized that I forgot a whole bunch of things and felt like I wasn't a very hospitable host this year. I felt a little distracted...by the big Disneyland Birthday Surprise Reveal!

Ya know those Disney commercials or you tube videos where the kids totally freak out when they hear they are going to Disneyland? Yep, my kids were the total opposite! True to form. Isabel said she was embarrassed to be too surprised in front of so many people. I'm not sure Markus really gets what Disneyland is...even though we've tried to watch you tube videos & the Disneypark videos. As the days have past their excitement has continued to grow. Isabel talks about it constantly. Markus is obsessed with the idea of Star Wars Jedi training.

So family that has helped by giving birthday gifts of $...they and WE are so so so THANKFUL!

Isabel Christine, this has been such a good year for you...I'm excited to see what God has planned for your 9th year. You continue to amaze me with your wisdom and gentle spirit. You have a huge heart & are so conscious of those around you & how they feel. You continue to be an amazing student. You are becoming such an athlete. You are such a graceful swimmer & the head of your swim class. You are well on your way to your first 5k with Girls on the Run...you are such a good role model & have a bright sweet Girls on the Run attitude! One of my favorite things about you is your love of writing & how many great notes I receive! I'm so blessed to be your mama. You are my first & sweetest treasure. I love you to the moon & back!

Markus Patrick, you my sweet boy are one of a kind. This is your last year of pre-school...which is so sad for your mama. My baby is growing up too fast. You LOVE pre-school. You rarely stop humming or singing, usually singing God Bless America, Jesus Loves Me or Star Wars music. You have loads of friends and are always excited to make more. You love to go to the gym with me & play. You are crazy busy and sorta just crazy but your hear is made of pure gold! One of my favorite things about you is your joyful spirit & your RAD dance moves! You are absolutely hilarious & keep me laughing with all of the silly things you say. You are my most precious treasure! I love you all the way to Canada handsome boy!

Happy Birthday Sissy & Bubby!
We sure love you!
Can't wait to explore Disneyland with you!!!!!
xo.

10/17/11 - This Weeks Goals

2011-10-17T20:37:00.000-07:00

How many jumping jacks do you think it would take to burn off 1.63oz (240 calories) of these peanut butter M & M's?

To burn off 5 calories it takes 30 jumping jacks...you do the rest of the math...YIKES!

I'm going to try something a little new. I went to this great little retreat and one of things they talked about was putting your goals out there for everyone to see...to see some accountability. Even though I'm not sure who all reads this...but I'm often surprised!

Here are my goals for this week
1. Drink lots of water - I just found out (I'm so slow sometimes) that when you don't drink enough water, your body will hang on to the water it does receive & will bring water retention. Plus it is an appetite suppressant also. I do love water (coffee, tea & water are my only drinks)...but in the morning I need to drink more as I usually drink all of mine during the evening. Then feel like a bloated parade float in the morning!

2. Eat BREAKFAST. I'm a terrible breakfast eater...coffee & a banana is usually my breakfast. I'm messing up my metabolism by doing this for sure. Better breakfast choices need to be made!

3. Eat fruit and/or vegetables at every meal.

4. Get a long run in one day during the week along with all of my gym workouts.

5. Finish organizing my bedroom closet.

6. Take a long bubble bath.

What are you going to do to practice the art of self care this week? Share it. Do it. Love it.

xo.

one 4 one

2011-10-10T16:04:00.000-07:00

frustration of the day

praise of the day

rain, rain, rain

wearing my ugg duck shoes

grumpy sleepy boy doesn't want to go

yummy coffee on the way

forgot cell phone & other things

watching my little boy & his friends being blessed at pre-school

buying the wrong thing & forgetting more

time to meander around Michael's by myself

stupid student loan frustrations

one quarter of school I won't have to pay back

ate a scone & beat myself up for it

big salad for dinner

saw bad pics of me that made me sad

more incentive to continue to work hard/harder

why do i look differently than i feel

clothes definitely are looser

why doesn't hard work=fast results

chat with Abba

scary news from a darling friend

another chat with Abba

homework

getting closer to being done

missing jovie dog

promise of puppies

feeling a little lost & easily influenced

really it's only a little rain & the blue sky is trying to break thru

grumpy family

great, LOVING, family

a reminder that all of my negatives have something positive that out weighs it. blessed even when i'm struggling...thanks God for reminding me. for real.

time to zumba!

Smile

2011-10-05T00:48:00.000-07:00

I have so many friends & family struggling right now & my heart is breaking for them! The saddness and stress and struggles of our crazy lives can sometimes be too much...I have been a first hand witness to that insanity & pain.

I don't know how to make it all better but I will offer a prayer & a sweet little tune that has been putting a smile on my face (& my kids faces) lately!

Just when I feel this crazy world is gonna bring me down

That’s when Your smile comes around.

xo.

true friends

2011-09-23T13:25:00.000-07:00

Things in my life are changing and I LOVE that.

Today, I had a victory...I was completely snubbed by a mom of one of my daughter's friends...she totally looked me up & down when I said hello & turned her back to me. The victory...I actually felt sorry for her, she will be missing out on having a new great friend. I also thought that it was shocking that I didn't take it personally & wonder what was wrong with me. In the past, I would've beat myself up about it, wondered what I could've done to offend her and been so deeply hurt.

I'm not sure why people treat others this way. I have no idea why you would snub anyone but I am realizing that it's not my fault and I do NOT need to take it personally...not in the least.

I also am SO thankful to my few very sweet friends that I do have. My friend Stephana was a huge blessing to me today! I love our friendship and it's such a sweet thing to see a friendly face at a school function, to have another parent that has kids the same age as mine, it's so great to have a friend to battle through this crazy motherhood thing with and of course...to have coffee with! Love you friend!

xo.

18 pounds

2011-09-19T10:45:00.000-07:00

my adorable, smart, sweet as honey, Grandma gave me a birthday gift that i never want to forget!

18 pounds is heavy. i've got a long long ways to go but i'm doing it & praying that i never see those 18 pounds on my body, again! thanks grandma for this reminder & for the 18 pounds of healthy food that is in this gift! i love you gobs!

xo.

ps. i also received many other gifts that blessed my socks off this year...i'm so thankful & feel so loved!

it's on like Donkey Kong

2011-09-14T11:47:00.000-07:00

(morning sun run pic)

Guess who's going to the most magical place on earth (for kids, anyway)...?????

The Little Family

shhhhhhh...don't tell my kids...it's a birthday surprise!

a gift from our families & a gift for ourselves using all saved money for birthday's & christmas, etc. a much needed getaway and our very first family vacation for just the 4 of us!

hubby & i are sooooooo excited...we've spent hours & hours & hours planning & researching! it's amazing all that goes into planning a vacation to Disneyland.

so this means, i want to look fantastic in our family Disney pictures...so i have some work to do! i really want this to be a vacation that i can enjoy the pictures rather than being ashamed. so...my brilliant friend hillary suggested that instead of picking a # of pounds i'd like to lose...i should find something that i want to fit into and have that be my goal instead. i thought that was such a great idea. considering i seem to loose inches even when my weight seems to do crazy things. what is up with this body, anyway? geez.

IT'S ON LIKE DONKEY KONG!

(my running buddy & a sweaty mama)

i've got a plan & i'm DETERMINED!

goals for the next 2 weeks...
~not to stress out, take things as they come, BREATHE, ENJOY!
~be mindful of what i put into my mouth & honestly write every bite down in my journal
~instead of emotional eating...choose emotional praying & emotional running
~i also really need to add more strength training to my running regimen

what are your goals? i'd love to pray for you & cheer YOU on!
xo.
k

gym or not to gym...that is the question...

2011-09-13T21:00:00.001-07:00

Thrive Community Fitness...http://www.thrivecf.com/

The gym near my house is offering a $0 enrollment. They offer childcare (for a small fee) and have a beautiful facility. I am doing so well on my running, outside running that is. I have once joined this gym for an entire year and never went even once...but I was not in a good place at that time. Joining the gym would guarantee me a nice place to workout, without Bub. But would I go enough to make it worth it? If I do not go...how would I make sure to get a good workout in...especially when it's so icky out? I'm not a huge fan of freezing cold running in the rain...call me crazy! :) It also could add to my weight loss efforts by giving me the chance to workout with weights and do more strength training, if I joined the gym.

ah! the offer is only good through this weekend...my 33rd Birthday weekend (Birthday gift, hubby?) :)

whatcha think?

think i'm paralyzed by my fear of failure? hmmmmm.

fall...

2011-09-12T09:18:00.000-07:00

Friday I turn 33.
Saturday I party with my family.
Monday I start school.
Tuesday I go to a class to learn how to coach Girls on the Run (AMAZING PROGRAM).
Wednesday I work.
Saturday I attend a Health Retreat (yay).

On all of these days I work and I study and I take care of my family. The weather has changed today, the colder temperatures means fall & winter are just days away. Over the past few years, I have struggled during this time of year. Whatever fantastic progress I've made during the summer months, it all seems to slip away during these dreary, cold, rainy days that seem to be a constant here in the lovely green state of Washington.

I'm starting to feel the anxiety rise. Honestly, I'm slightly freaking out...

So, I am reminding myself that I have made such progress. I have new & different support systems. I have to remind myself that when I am weak, HE is strong. I have to rely on my Heavenly Father, that is what He wants and that is what HE is needing from me. The great thing is that I don't need to do this on my own, it's impossible, I've tried before...MANY TIMES. My hope is found in HIM! For that I am so thankful!

This is from the book, Made to Crave...

God says to me ~

I love you and no number on the scale will ever change that. I'm not taking you on this journey because I need you to weigh less. I am taking you on this journey because I desire for you to be healthy in every sense of the word. I know your name, Katie. Now rest in the security of MY name and all that it means to your identity.

Isaiah 45:23

God does not care what size pants I wear. He just wants me to be healthy and to take care of the body that He has blessed me with. I need to honor Him by honoring myself. That DOESN'T mean that the only way I will honor Him is by being a size 4. That may be how He made someone else...but I'm learning that that is not my story and that is OKAY. With that being said, I do know I have some work to do and am definitely not giving up! I will continue to try and put good healthy food into my body for nourishment and continue to move to keep my body strong & capable!

I love being the daughter of the Most High King...it's pretty special. I was thinking yesterday, I always think about people throughout the day and will often times email or text or call someone & tell them that I love them. Yesterday, I was thinking about my little sister, how dearly I love that lady of adventure, snottiness & gentleness. :) Then I thought, it's not often that I just look up to the Heaven's & say "I love you my Heavenly Father" , "I love you Lord Jesus", "I love you Abba", what a joy it is to be YOURS & it surely IS!

I hope you are making some good choices to honor our Savior today...I know I'm trying!

xo.

Food Matters

2011-08-29T21:43:00.000-07:00

http://www.foodmatters.tv/

Go to this website. Watch the film (we watched it for FREE through Netflix - Watch Instantly). Really. WATCH IT. You may not change out your entire diet but at least you will be aware. I thought Food Inc. was powerful...nothing compared to this. Even my hubby, Mr. Meat & Potatoes himself was blown away. We've been doing some research, have some books on the way, we are ready to change our life around. We may not go completely Vegan or on a RAW food diet at first...but we're gonna do our best!

Really. Watch this film. It's really really interesting! It will challenge you for sure!

I know this is kind of a silly thing to say, but, I really feel like God is in control of this health kick right now...I feel like he's leading me to these things. Pat & I were just sitting around, bored, kiddo was asleep, we wanted to watch something & we just happened upon this film. We knew nothing about it but turned it on & were blown away.

I'm excited to see what is next on my health journey...especially since HE is in control...

Black Bean Brownies...mmmmmm!

2011-08-27T21:46:00.000-07:00

Black Bean Brownies

-Rocco DiSpirito, "Now Eat This!"

Ingredients

Nonstick cooking spray

1½ cups canned black beans, rinsed and drained

½ cup unsweetened cocoa powder

1 tablespoon espresso powder

¾ cup egg substitute (I used organic eggs)

2 tablespoons low-calorie sugar-free chocolate syrup, such as Walden Farms (I used dark chocolate syrup, sugar-free = allergic reaction)

2 tablespoons reduced-fat sour cream, such as Breakstone's (I used Darigold)

1 tablespoon unsalted butter, melted

24 packets (84 g) Truvia or 8 tablespoons granulated Splenda (I used regular sugar, I'm allergic to fake sugar products)

1 teaspoon vanilla extract

Cooking Directions

Preheat the oven to 350°F. Spray an 8×8-inch glass baking dish with cooking spray.

Combine the beans, cocoa powder, espresso powder, and egg substitute in the bowl of a food processor. Process until the mixture is smooth, about 2 minutes, scraping down the bowl halfway through.

Add the chocolate syrup, sour cream, butter, Truvia, and vanilla. Process until all of the ingredients are combined, about 1 minute.

Pour the batter into the prepared baking dish, and smooth the top with a spatula. Bake for 28 to 30 minutes, turning the dish halfway through the baking time. A toothpick inserted in the center will come out with soft batter clinging to it.

Let the brownies cool completely in the baking dish on a wire rack. Then cut into 12 squares and serve. Refrigerate any leftovers.

NOW YOU CAN EAT THIS! SOOOO YUM!

Before After

Fat 70g 1.6g

Calories 1500 53

Protein: 4g | Carbohydrates: 8g | Cholesterol: 4mg

Fiber: 3g| Sodium: 94mg

claiming it, baby!

2011-08-27T21:26:00.000-07:00

I put this sticker on my car cause I'm claiming it! I'm a runner girl!

Tonight, after a day of helping my sister & brother-in-law move (I'm SO sad to see them go...but excited for their new adventure in missions in Madras, OR) & feeling heartbroken for my mom, who had her house broken into & her jewelry stolen...

I ran. It's such good therapy for me. Tonight, i'm super proud...i ran my entire usual route...half of those miles are UP hill & i ran. I ran the whole way!!! usually when i run that route...i walk up those hills...not this time! It felt incredible & I didn't even think about having to stop, normally it takes all that i am to hoof it up those hills. NOT TODAY! It is amazing to see how this body can change, how i am growing stronger & becoming healthier. I feel fantastic for SURE!

Victory for Katie today!

Now if we could only get my mama's jewelry back...

whirlwind

2011-08-26T09:55:00.000-07:00

the last few weeks have been a whirlwind of good & bad; which creates a whirlwind of emotions. it also creates a whirlwind of changes...all for the best!!

i've been struggling with writers block due to all of the changes & processing of all of these things. here is just one of the whirlwinds that brought change...

this whirlwind, actually, the death of my grandpa, the hospital stay of my uncle & the visit my 38 year old husband whom I had to take to the ER due to chest pain, have created a stirring in my soul, like no other. i'm not sure i've ever been as motivated as i am right now to live a healthy life. even my husband, who is okay (mostly), is on the health band wagon. we've been eating a ton more vegis and other healthy food options. the morning after spending the night in the ER, we scoured my many books & magazines for healthy eating options. we've tried the recipes and they have been delicious. it's all about exchanging good choices/food with the bad!

i highly recommend this book....Now Eat This! by Rocco Dispirito. in fact, at this moment, i have his black bean brownies baking in the oven!

running has become an all family affair. we run up the hills to my daughter's school. the kids play at the play area and I (sometimes the hubby) RUN, between 6 & 8 laps around the track...then we all run home. it's been such a great after dinner activity & it keeps us from eating too much at dinner...no one likes a side ache.

i've lost some weight. i've definitely lost some inches all around. i, surely, have noticed the change in my life & how i feel.

i have quite a bit of weight to lose, but i've started and it's feeling more natural & feeling easier (hopefully that easy feeling will continue).

i also have a sweet friend who is working on these healthy lifestyle changes like i am (although she's far ahead of me). we are going to work together and meet regularly to support one another & i am sooooooooo excited about that! SO EXCITED!

nothing like a HUGE reality check sent from above to get your butt in gear. i really am feeling that God is a huge part of this and it feels good to have Him as a partner & my best cheerleader!

today...i challenge you to make one healthy change & stick with it. remember these bodies are fragile & we need to take care of these precious gifts that God has blessed us with!!!!!

xo.
big (but getting smaller) katie

cousins

2011-08-11T14:55:00.000-07:00

Cousins are those childhood playmates who grow up to be forever friends. Anonymous

my favorite kiddos on this planet...hands down!
the fact that they adore each other blesses my socks off...we can't wait for more cousins!

my little girl...

2011-08-10T01:36:00.000-07:00

you are growing too fast.
today you grew out of your booster seat.
you have grown into women's size 7 shoes.
you are beautiful.
you are super smart.
you are wise beyond your years.
you roll your eyes at me already & boss your brother around.
you are absolutely hilarious.

however... you do still love to snuggle...you still snort when you laugh your crazy laugh...you still love me to tuck you in at night & always always pray with you before bed. you love your stuffed animals & collecting rocks, shells & snow globes & still will pretend to be a janitor at the cheetah's bath tub. your heart is still so tender & sweet & generous & perfect.

please slow down on your growing...please. i love to watch you grow & become your own little person but please slow it down a bit...i want to enjoy you in this place for a little while longer.

i'm so thankful you are MY little girl!

i love you to the moon & back, my sweet Isabelly girl.
your mama
xoxoxoxox.

What I Whouldn't Do...

2011-08-10T01:08:00.000-07:00

a song for you babe...

i'm glad i do HAVE you & glad you are the one i get to grow old with & glad i get to wrap my arms around you whenever i please & kiss you like a king.

i'm so glad i have you.

yours forever.
xo.

oh Grandpa

2011-08-04T15:57:00.001-07:00

you were a tough guy...one who could somehow reach across an entire dinner table to thump you right in the middle of your forehead if you were acting up. you also had a soft side, you loved having your wife scratch your back or rub your tummy & always handed out some love taps to her as well. you always had a smooch & a hug for your grandkids & kids & usually an opinion about something we were wearing or how we did our hair. i don't think you ever called me katie, always kate. i remember you laying on the floor on big pillows with your shirt off...summer or winter. you loved cheese and didn't care much for sharing it or allowing others to cut it. you loved tomato soup, S.O.S., milkshakes & smoothies. you were a master gardener. mr. fix it. a collector of all things. saver of cans for your grandkids education. a bathrobe/rubber boots wearing mail retriever. a good cook. terribly embarrassing at restaurants. a swimmer. you would get mad if grandma would let us color things out of the lines or color an animal a different color than it should be. you could give a dirty look from a mile away. but you also had a great smile...especially when you were being mischievous...like when you had beer for breakfast on Christmas day! i know grandma sure loved you. i always thought it was kind of cute that you would buy her lingerie for Christmas. when i married pat, grandma told me that i shouldn't marry a guy that much older, like she did. but you outlasted her anyway...i'm sure that must've been part of the sweedish/polish competition you guys had...you are probably bragging about it to her in Heaven right now! :) even though you were a little rough around the edges & you smelled of grease(fixing motorcycles, cars, including my first car, lawn mowers, chain saws, etc.) & dirt (growing all sorts of great things like raspberries & pumpkins), you were my grandpa and i sure did, sure DO, LOVE YOU.

xo.

your kate
ps. give your bride a smooch for me, gramps. miss you both terribly.

sweet & sour

2011-08-01T20:23:00.000-07:00

a little bit of sweet...
gobs of time with my most favorite people on this earth...while getting dirty, playing in the ocean, collecting sand dollars, lots of sand everywhere, campfires, laughing till i squeak & cry (like only my family can get me to do), sharing memories, feelings & food, cozy sleeping in our tent, playing games & anticipating the future...

a little bit of sour...
my grandpa is having his last days here on earth...so close to the year anniversary that his wife, my beloved grandma went to heaven...feeling sad but also feeling thankful as his days this past year have not been the greatest, as his body has been failing. my heart is breaking for my mom & my uncle as their parents both have passed away...I cannot imagine the heartache that losing both of my parents would bring.

what a treasure my family is. even though we may disagree & have our differences. in the end, my family always sticks together. we talk & work on things & love each other unconditionally. we also carry sweet & sometimes sour memories...regardless they are stories & memories that we will share with our kids & hopefully our kids will share with their kids.

through sweet & sour...we love, we laugh, we cry...we are FAMILY!
ps. i'm really craving my mom's sweet & sour meatballs now! ;)

friends+coffee=love

2011-07-22T23:03:00.000-07:00

coffee dates are my favorite...

i'm blessed to have at least one almost every week...it's always with someone completely fabulous that i adore and the coffee is always delish. sooooo blessed i tell you!

i think, i've said this all before. oh well. off to bed. i have another coffee date in the morning. sweetness.
xo.

Brilliant!

2011-07-18T18:09:00.000-07:00

(the lady at the end of the dock was running in the pouring down rain, down & up big hills, she ran out the dock & watched a seal who was flirting with her, then ran back...all while i sat inside the cozy cabin in my pj's...I stood watching her & tears started to fill my eyes...knowing that my life needs to change)

"Honestly, I am made for more than a vicious cycle of eating, gaining, stressing-eating, gaining, stressing...I am made to rise up, do battle with my issues and, using the Lord's strength in me, defeat them-spiritually, physically, and mentally -to the glory of God. Just today I put on some jeans I never thought I'd wear again. And while my flesh did the happy dance of success, my soul was far from thoughts of vanity. My soul felt free. I was amazed that I ever desired to satisfy my taste buds over satisfying my desire to break free from all the guilt, all the destruction, all the defeat." ~Made to Crave by Lysa Terkeurst

All I have to say is...BRILLIANT, WONDERFUL & the feelings/words I want to claim as my OWN...not just in my dreams but NOW! I'm newly motivated...watch out!

more later lovies.
xo.

"Beer Barrel Polka"

2011-07-14T09:49:00.000-07:00

maybe it's this yuck yuck yucky weather or disappointing news or missing my little girl or missing my grandma so much today (her birthday) that it's hard to breathe...but i'm feeling sad...the sad that leaves a lump at the back of the throat & the tears that just keep rolling out of my eyes without my face changing...thankful for the lack of the ugly cry!

i'm beyond blessed...today just a little sad...this music that my grandma loves does lift the spirits a little bit though!

Happy Birthday Grandma. xo.

do you?

2011-07-11T21:56:00.000-07:00

I've had a little time to slow down lately. Which gives my heart & mind some time to do some thinking & some feeling. Oh goodness...feelings. If only y'all knew what went on my mind...you'd sooooo laugh at me & think I'm crazy. I wish I could write & speak to accurately share what is going on in my little heart...here I'll give it a whirl...

do you ever dream dreams that are scary...you pray & hope they will never come true & then sadly they do. i've had a dream like that once. recently i had another dream that i hope never comes true. never ever. those dreams suck.

do you ever wonder if there is someone(not a husband or Abba) out there...a kindred spirit...who if you really really knew & had time to spend with them...they would speak the language of your heart & totally get you...even if your words are sloppy?

do you ever wonder why people are so excluding & then wonder what group you really fit into...is there one?

do you pray & know with all of your heart that our Heavenly Father is going to meet you right there & bless you beyond words...do you always pray knowing this will happen or do you doubt a little bit? i do both.

do you love one or more people so much you can barely contain the love & barely stand to be apart from them? yup, me too.

do you feel that you get your heart broken too easily & too often? yup, me too.

does music stir up emotions? i can go from dancing & laughing to crying in 2 minutes flat...easy.

does fear rock your world sometimes & the other f word...failure too? both together...ahhhhhh.

does beauty sometimes take your breath away? yeah.

do you ever feel like you need something so bad that you feel like you might explode if that need isn't met asap?

do you ever get so frustrated that you get angry or burst into tears or both?

do you wonder how some people can be so cruel then feel hopeless in trying to help?

do you ever feel so blessed by an interaction with a friend or family member that you just wanna squeeze the stuffin' out of them? ;)

do you ever daydream? oh if only you could see my daydreams...you'd know that i want to travel with my little family...travel the world, see the beauty of Greece (oh so badly), Italy, Hawaii...I could worship Jesus in His most beautiful places...experience a hot air balloon ride, kayaking & river rafting on a river (with my personal guide my little sister), my husband would find a hidden romantic bone in his body & plan something fantastic & wonderful just for me, my kids would just be blissfully happy...we'd be this happy little family who completely enjoys every second we are together (no arguing or fighting), in my daydream I am strong, athletic & beautiful (just the way i mostly feel on the inside), i could run marathons & triathlons & hike like it was nobody's business, i would have confidence & people would really want to be my friend (like all the time friend) & invite me & my fun family to crazy fun beautiful parties...parties on beaches & in beautiful gardens with lanterns & fireflies. i would have a job i absolutely love to wake up to each day. i would have time to spend with those that i love. i could spend hours on my grandma's deck listening to her stories & remembering my grandpa. i could watch the sunrise from the deck at the cabin, without ants. i could have time to shop & enjoy the beauty that other's have created. i would have the money to buy every trinket that reminded me of a friend or a family member & buy it for them. i'd have oodles of time...time to read. time to bake & cook & bless others with yummy treats. hmmmm, there are so many dreams racing through my heart...it is really silly to share them all now. my soul is full of pretty little dreams & if you knew them...you would think they were pretty too, i bet.

what i really don't want & what scares me most is leaving this earth without accomplishing any of these little dreams...no matter how outlandish. i wonder how some people do these things. i feel heartbroken for those who didn't get to accomplish all they wanted to do. my grandma who passed away almost a year ago...she would always tell me the things she wished she had done or wanted to do...I don't want to leave those daydreams behind...I want to live it & in so many ways I am living a dream...that is for sure...but is it bad to want more? i know Heaven will be glorious & i can't wait...but i have a lot of living i want to do down there first...ya know?!

so...there ya go...a whole lotta nonsense...but nonetheless what is on my heart...maybe now i'll be able to sleep.

nighty night.
xo.

1000 gifts...1 to 20

2011-07-03T11:17:00.000-07:00

im fighting through this...
"The liar (satan) defiantly scrawls his graffiti across God's glory, and I heave to enjoy God...and Satan strangles, and I whiten knuckles to grasp real Truth and fix that beast to the floor."

to achieve & grasp this...
"Joy is the realest reality, the fullest life, and joy is always given, never grasped. God gives gifts and I give thanks and I unwrap the gift given: joy."

~One Thousand Gifts by Ann Voskamp

i love Ann's book. i've been struggling the last few weeks to remember what gifts i've truly been blessed with. i forgot to give God thanks. i forgot to appreciate what i have & each precious moment that i'm on this earth with those that i love. i've been exhausted but that doesn't mean i can act like a turd bucket.
Ann writes this also...

"Being in a hurry. Getting to the next thing without fully entering the thing in front of me. I cannot think of a single advantage I've ever gained from being in a hurry. But a thousand broken and missed things, tens of thousands, lie in the wake of all the rushing...Through all that haste I thought I was making up time. It turns out I was throwing it away. In our rushing, bulls in china shops, we break our own lives. Haste makes waste."

she's a genius i know.

so, i'm taking my cue from her...writing a list of 1000 gifts that God has blessed me with will be a challenge but a sweet one at that!

here's my first 20...

1. playing with my kiddos in the ocean

2. the beautiful sunshine that warms my face & burns my nose

3. laughter

4. perfectly fresh & ripe strawberries

5. the sound of waves crashing on the shore

6. the feel of cool water on my hot feet

7. getting a burst of energy & strength on a hard run

8. a gentle cool breeze that blows through the window & makes the curtains look extra beautiful

9. messages from my grandma that make me giggle

10. a good song that speaks to my soul in that moment

11. annoying my husband until he busts up laughing

12. listening to my little boy tell his stories

13. my family who still loves me even when I have giant grumpy pants on

14. the sound of birds chirping in the morning

15. big iced coffee on a hot day

16. having a chat with a friend who inspires me and challenges me

17. drinks, yummy food, music & laughter with my howell family

18. a book that i can't put down

19. i'm on a hot streak of keeping my plants alive

20. that hockey season is over for the summer...woot woot!

i'm blessed...for REAL! God is sooooooooooooooooo good. I'm so thankful.
xo.

2011-06-30T14:55:00.000-07:00

"Do you want to play Bug Squad tomorrow?"

"Definitely! Because Ladybug Girl and Bumblebee Boy can do anything!"

~Ladybug Girl & Bumblebee Boy by David Somar & Jacky Davis

be.

2011-06-28T00:12:00.000-07:00

planning, hoping dreaming...seems to be what i'm all about lately.
tomorrow my job is to live in the moment. to pray for my grandma. to give my all to my family. to sing. to laugh. to dance. to RUN. maybe to swim. to eat fresh strawberries. to drink a giant iced coffee. to read. to teach my kids something new like wiggling their ears or the monkee walk. just live right in those precious moments that i some times watch run by. it's summer for heavens sake. time to just be.
yes. that will be good.

Island In The Sun

2011-06-26T11:33:00.000-07:00

feeling a true desire in my soul to adventure out of my home and my city
feeling a true desire in my soul to completely relax
feeling a true desire in my heart of hearts to find a place of peace

i don't need it for a year, a month or even a week...but just for a few days...

i'm seeking some renewal
i'm seeking deep breaths of the sea
i'm seeking a slower pace
i'm seeking a place where i don't have to work all the time, no school work, no work, no chores
i'm seeking a place to play with my kids...a place to truly just frolic, giggle & snuggle
i'm seeking a place where i can read an entire book all the way through
i'm seeking a place to stick my toes in the sand
i'm seeking a place where i can just sit in the sunshine & let my soul soak it all in...quiet peaceful moments with Abba, moments of nothing...just listening...

this desire. this desperate need is deep seeded in me right now, i can't seem to shake it and I am feeling fragile.

my spirit is longing for some life again.

oh tears.

Happy Dad's Day!

2011-06-19T12:04:00.000-07:00

Happy Father's Day to my Daddy-O!

The coolest dad who taught me so many things and so many lessons & continues to always have my best interest at heart & when the going gets tough is always there with some words of advice.

He's taught me...
how to play basketball
how to be a great multi-tasker
how to be a hard & dedicated worker
how to dance like a pro
how to take care of my car
how to shoot a gun
how to fish, crab & clam

He's passed down...
a love of reading & story telling
an appreciation for the outdoors
a love of dogs
a love of music
a love of learning
a love of ice cream

He's given me...(along with my sweet mama)
the tools to be a good mom
the gift of knowing Jesus as my Lord & Savior
my handsome hilarious brother & my adorable amazing sister
the gift of family...knowing them...appreciating them...making them a priority...LOVING them
the gift of education & a good home life
the gift of knowing that I'm LOVED
the chance to know him & love him & his great laugh

I love being your daughter, Dad & so proud to be!

I love you so.
Kathryn

friends & ink & a getaway

2011-06-10T16:58:00.000-07:00

I have had quite a few unexpected friend dates the last few days & it has blessed my little heart! I have an abnormally giant amount of work and homework I need to be doing. Which has been causing me A LOT of stress...however...all of these sweet little friend dates lift my spirits & help put life into perspective for me, which makes the stress meter go down a bit.

I'm sure thankful for friendships & for people who actually want to spend time with me...somedays that in itself is hard to believe! :)

Love you ladies lots & lots!

shockingly i have no pictures to share...that must mean i was having so much fun i forgot about my camera! ha!

ALSO...I've been thinking about getting a tattoo for the past few years, on my foot. I really love starfish, so I wanted to do something with that...also something with the word Beloved (to remind myself) and maybe something with my kids names (or possibly just 2 starfish as a symbol of my 2 babes). Well, I have a new friend who creates gorgeous Henna designs and I have asked her to maybe help me come up with a design, so I'm super excited to see what she comes up with AND super excited to get inked! Maybe that will be my 25lbs lost reward! ;) If you have any tattoo ideas...I'd love to hear them!

just had to share about the tattoo...cause I'm excited. My hubby is even thinking about getting one as well. Which would be SO fun & so not Pat & Katie! I love it.

AND...my little family of 4 is taking our first mini-vacation by ourselves (for the first day & a half it will just be me & the kids which sounds sooooo heavenly) very soon to one of my most favorite places in the whole wide world & I am so excited I can hardly stand it!
here (behind baby Isabel)------>

Lots of good good stuff lately!
xo.

M's, snot & running

2011-06-05T10:39:00.000-07:00

for the first time in a long while i'm sitting in an empty house & it feels, well, um, empty. it's 70 degrees and beautiful outside but i have a 2 foot pile of files to do today & a project for school, so, obviously that means it's time for a blog post. i am the world's greatest procrastinator!

yesterday, i had a lovely day with the kids, we went with a friend & met some other friends at the Mariner's game. the M's lost but it was still great. we sat WAY up high (we bought tickets through Isabel's school), I couldn't see much of the game but the view up there was beautiful, a perfect view of the Seattle skyline & we listened to U2 practice next door (from what i hear we should've gone to the U2 concert instead). i've been sick for almost 5 weeks & i was so worried i would be having constant coughing fits & runny nose but i only had one coughing fit & during that fit...the M's scored 2 runs!!! guess i should've had more. the kids loved it & are still wearing their new M's shirts this morning! i'm not sure they would've loved it as much if their buddies weren't there but they had a blast & so did i! i think my favorite part of the whole day was watching my kids, playing, laughing, trying to figure out the baseball part, eating, eating & more eating. they were SO cute & as i sat watching them i couldn't help but think that they are growing WAY too fast. i sure love being their mom.

it's been a rough week...i've been sick, as i said for almost 4 weeks. this week this cold came back with a vengence. fevers every night, can't breathe through my nose in the least, have gone through 2 boxes of tissues & even bought a neti pot. i'm sure stress is playing the biggest role in my health right now. the next 2 weeks are full of finals, projects & papers. i'm so close to summer vacation. but i also have had the added bonus of working twice as much due to someone leaving at my "work at home" job...which is no longer work from home. it is draining me & i'm reminded of why i'm going back to school. i haven't run since last sunday...i've been soooooo sick & i'm not sure if you are supposed to run with a fever & since i can't breathe very well sitting down...running sounds scary. not running is no longer an option. i'm so frustrated that i've worked so hard & had just built up my legs, etc & now i'm benched. so today...even though i feel horrible & have been having some vertigo issues...i'm running. i may just have my hubby follow me in the car so if i can't make it...he can save me!

so...here's to a new week...may it be less stressful, full of running & playing & laughter & no tears or snot...here's to more Canuck wins (I AM SOOOOOO READY FOR MY TROPICAL VACATION) & to my Heavenly Father who has blessed me beyond words!

success.

2011-05-27T12:40:00.001-07:00

Success after failure is what I achieved yesterday!
In the past, a failure during the week could set me back, a week, a month, a year or even two. I'm learning from past mistakes. Failure only lasted a day this time.

Yesterday, I made good choices.
I completed ALL of my homework due for the day + a little more.
I made healthy choices for food all day, Salmon & brown rice for dinner
and...
I RAN. I started at 8:30pm and had a heck of a time falling asleep last night...but I ran. I ran for 45 minutes, I ran fast & hard, with only 2 uphill, less than a minute walks. My legs felt sooooo good and strong. I'm not sure if it was the extra break so my legs had time to recover but I felt amazing and my mood improved 10 fold.

yay for not letting failure take over!

woot woot.

fail.

2011-05-26T00:14:00.000-07:00

This will not be an eloquent post...it's midnight & I've had a rough day. My mind is racing but not coherently, so I shall write.

I'm not sure what it is about me where I have to go through yucky things more than once to really catch the lesson. I work from home a few hours a week for an attorney who graciously pays me to do some bankruptcy work for him (what i used to do at my old job that i had for 11 years). The gal who works in the office, recently left and I am there to help out in the mean time. Which means working twice as much as I have been. I'm not really sure what would've happened if I would've said no to coming in more. But I felt i couldn't say no. The problem is...I often times feel like I can't say no. Which is really frustrating.

Today, I worked 5 hours...which really was more like 8 because of the commute and the kid shuffling that needed to be done. It was a brutal day, I have a crap load of work, not just a crap load of work but a crap load of really mind challenging work. I'm a legal assistant, which requires some serious multi-tasking and complete attention to detail. I also had clients screaming at me...not because of me...because they are mad at the world. So, then what do I hear myself say at the end of the day...because I'm feeling like there is too much to do. "Terry, I think I'll just come in on Memorial Day and work!" WHAT THE HELL? Did I seriously just say that? Of course he was thrilled. What is wrong with me?

I came home after running all over the place. The kids were all done. I was all done. I was grumpy. I could barely focus...still can't. Markus started acting out in a huge way. I had homework to do. I had a 45 minute run to do.

So...falling back into dumb katie habits...this is what i did...
-I didn't run
-I accidentally missed an assignment
-I was grumpy with the kids, who were grumpy with me, probably because they needed some love & attention that i didn't have left to give.
-I ate ice cream

EPIC FAIL on all accounts today.

What did I learn? There are some things that are really unhealthy for me, working in a law office, is probably not okay for my sensitive heart anymore. I was reminded again of the reason I am going back to school. I was reminded of the reason that I need to be home more. I was reminded of the reason why I need to take care of my kiddos in a positive way. I was reminded of the reason why I need to take care of myself and set priorities in my life.

So...this is now what I'll repeat to myself as I drift off to sleep...

Because of the LORD’s great love we are not consumed,for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. (Lamentations 3:22-23)

I'm so thankful that...

"Tomorrow is always fresh with no mistakes" ~Anne Shirley

and

that I'm still daughter of the Most High King and He surely loves me & is always there with a listening ear & a blanket of grace to cast upon my shoulders! oh and He so loves you too!

nighty night lovely friends. xo.

i love being in community with you.

2011-05-20T14:39:00.000-07:00

thanks mom & friends for giving me permission...actually...encouraging me to be ME. it sure is sweet to know that my mom isn't the only one who loves me & wants to hear what is on my heart, even though it can be messy & unreadable. i feel blessed to have all of you amazing ladies in my life & so thankful for each of you. this week in my psychology class we were discussing how community makes such a huge impact in our lives. we were made to live in community. people who live in community live longer and happier lives. i'm feeling completely blessed by the community around me these days. i feel like i have little pockets of beautiful friends all over the place & it seriously makes my heart giddy. i still have a job opening for a BFF but that's okay...i'm sure loving all of my new & old friends & all the different things i get to learn and love about each of you. y'all inspire me, fo' sho'!

sure love you.
xo.

?

2011-05-15T20:30:00.000-07:00

I have written about 30 different blog posts over the last month. None of them seeing the light of day. I'm feeling a little bit like a writer without a purpose or a blogger with too many topics & ideas running around in my head. I have a million topics, a billion ideas & a trillion reasons why none of those are seeing the light of day.

I'm taking a class on blog writing and it's confusing me even more. Where & how do I focus? This class talks about finding a topic and focusing on it, having a mission statement, etc. All of this has paralyzed me.

As a reader of my blog...if there are any left...what are the topics that I write about that you wish I would write more on. Are there any topics that you do like? ;) Do you like that I switch around doing different things?

True to my nature, I am interested in soooooooooo many things but not so much on just one thing. It's possible that I'm just lacking confidence? I'm certainly not an expert on any one thing. I have a passion for many things but not a focused passion.

Passions...
mommying
getting healthy
feeling...loving, laughing, crying
photography
not hockey...ha!
being a wife
interior decorating
running baby
being a beach bum
coffee drinking
being a student
the list goes on...

whatcha think?
yup...I don't know either...
xo.

bub

2011-05-13T12:20:00.001-07:00

Boy, n.: a noise with dirt on it. ~Not Your Average Dictionary

There was never a child so lovely but his mother was glad to get him to sleep. ~Ralph Waldo Emerson

xo.

10lbs baby!

2011-05-09T14:38:00.000-07:00

I've lost 10 lbs and I'm really trying to reward myself and not get frustrated by the slow process of healthily loosing weight! Rewarding is something I've not done in the past when trying to lose weight...instead of rewarding I would get really frustrated & angry with myself that I hadn't lost more. I've got a long way to go but each pound lost is another piece of my life gained back! I love it when the fat starts melting away and the real katie breaks through! :) I'm celebrating this loss for sure!

So for the first 10lbs lost...I wanna make it big...then we'll go small again! Like, I said, I've got a long way to go. Unfortunately, my pocketbook cannot take rewards like this, each time. But 10lbs lost is big for me & that's great!

my reward...this pretty little thing

found at Jo Totes...I love love love it! I've been searching & searching for the perfect camera bag/purse! This is not huge. It has a spot for me camera (so my hubby will be happy it's not banging around inside my usual big purse) and space for my favorite wallet! I can't wait to get it!

I'm REALLY REALLY excited! More than that...I'm really really excited that I lost 10lbs!

Here's to the next 10 & the next & the next...
cheers
xo.

Happy Mother's Day!

2011-05-07T23:25:00.001-07:00

Happy Mother's Day to my momma!

a momma who has wiped away many tears, read many katie notes, laughed & snuggled. Kissed owies, hugged a whole whole lot, rubbed many sore legs. Went to many open houses, sporting events and concerts. a momma who taught us a million songs, strummed her guitar and danced. she let us play in the mud & sand. she gave us baths & cleaned our clothes. she threw birthday parties and drove us around. she encouraged & she prayed for us & with us. she worked hard. she loved even harder. she threw graduation parties & wedding parties & baby parties. a momma who turned into a nonnie. a nonnie that loves unconditionally & is willing to watch grandkids who are barfing or who have colds. a nonnie who knows how to snuggle a grandbaby like no one else in the whole wide world. for all of these things & more I'm so thankful.

I love you to the moon & back!

2011-05-06T12:18:00.000-07:00

"Tomorrow is always fresh with no mistakes in it." Anne Shirley

"It is ever so much easier to be good if your clothes are fashionable." Anne Shirley

peace in the midst of chaos

2011-05-02T20:50:00.000-07:00

i've had so much going on lately, with the usual. but mostly i've had an overwhelming feeling of peace in the midst of chaos. i'm feeling safe. mostly cared for. feeling close to my heavenly Father. i've had some great conversations with my kids about what is going on in their little worlds. mostly, i've been thinking about how truly blessed i am to not have so much drama going on in my life. i'm so thankful that my relationships are secure and happy. i'm thankful that i've surrounded myself and my kids with people who truly love them and want what is best for them. i'm so thankful that when there are disagreements, grudges are not held, we discuss, forgive & LOVE. it's all about the LOVE. it's one thing we've been talking about a lot with Belley & Bub...to LOVE one another.

peace in the midst of chaos...that's my kinda life!

xo.

a new space

2011-04-25T12:47:00.000-07:00

So friends...for part of my communication studies class in school this quarter, I had to create a blog & wanted it to be separate from this one.

Here's the link for my new blog through wordpress...which is a REALLY fun place to post. :)

http://alittlecoffeebreak.wordpress.com/about/

If you're looking for me...this may be where I am!

xo.

Easter Song...

2011-04-25T12:41:00.000-07:00

Happy Easter, dear ones!

We went to church yesterday & when I left I realized there was one thing missing from that great service...it was some good ol' Easter songs. My sister posted this video yesterday & it just filled me up all the way to the top! LOVE LOVE LOVE this!

We had a lovely Easter...a day filled to the brim (18 of us) with those that we love so dearly and stories of Jesus. It was great.

I am so thankful that God sent his only Son to die for our sins and to RISE again so that we may have EVERLASTING LIFE! What a precious precious gift!!!!

xo.

2011-04-11T13:57:00.000-07:00

on days when i feel like this... it's good to remember to breathe & remember that i am truly truly blessed. xo.

my little sister

2011-04-08T08:56:00.000-07:00

it's my little sister's birthday! it's my little sister's birthday!

(you know I have to include this picture...it just kills me)

Happy Birthday Megs, Megatron, Megsy, Rootball, CRAZY WOMAN!

oh how i love you.

you bring sunshine & joy to this family

you are wise beyond your years

you are miss independant

you are beloved daughter of the Most High King

you are beautiful

your hair is amazing

your friendship is a precious gift

your baby finger nails are SHARP

you are outdoor adventurer SUPREME

you are dairy free

you are pancake, beer & coffee aficionado (not all at the same time...right?)

you are a treasured auntie to 3 nephews & one adoring niece

you are mommy to one old, cute brown bear

you are a kindred spirit

you are a WIFE (craziness) & apparently a really good one, so I've heard

your heart has a million pockets & they are filled with all of the beautiful treasures of God & friends & family...you seem to always have enough love to make us all feel special.

Sis, you bless my socks off. I love you to bits & pieces...even when we disagree or each have our grumpy pants on. Watching you with my babies, is so special to me. Your relationship with Isabel is especially fun for me. She has soooooo much of her auntie in her! I have so many great memories of us & a few not so great...was it you or me that chucked the remote at the other's head & said a naughty word? ;) 12 years ago, I moved out of our family home & our relationship seems to get sweeter each & every year. I love that. I also have so much to learn from my little sister. You are so great at giving yourself boundaries & making sure to take time to praise Jesus & have a little one on one time with the Big Guy. You also take good care of yourself. I look up to you in so many ways!

You just rock...I know I left out a million things...but we have many more years ahead for me to share those too!

I love you sister!

As sister & sister we go together o we stop!

xoxoxoxox.

ps. there was way too many pictures to choose from...cause you are so cute.

oh this week...

2011-04-08T08:06:00.000-07:00

this week has been incredible & also down right crappy...all at the same time.

we've been here, there & everywhere. it is the kids spring break week & boy have they been having some fun. we've had playdates galore. we've had a family day trip. we've had gloomy doomy rain. we've had glorious sunshine.

for little ol' me...it's been an emotional week. i'm trying to make this a great-mommy-present week for the kids but i'm also stressed to the max about school. i'm taking 2 extremely challenging classes this quarter & 1 super fun class about blog writing/design (seriously i get credit for this?). i have more homework & tests in this first week of classes than I did for my finals, last quarter (just 2 short weeks ago). my hubby said "it's okay, Dr. Heathcliff Huxtable say's it's okay if you get a hard D". thanks Cosby Show. too bad it's not okay with me.

as for exercise...Bham Fit. i was really consumed with frustration after last week. i decided that i worked way too hard, too fast. so this week, i calmed down a little. i did a little yoga. did a little more walking & i'm feeling much better. last night, i had no children, bless you mom & dad...so my little goldendoodle girl & i set out for a nice long run/walk. it was great & a guy even gave me a wave & a smile...i love a little morale boost! i'm thankful that i'm still out there...it seems in the past when i get stressed...exercise & taking care of myself is the first thing to go...i'm working on that.

so, i may be posting less for awhile, since my school schedule is challenging. but i'll be back. summer is just 10 short weeks away for me...ohhhhhh i so can't wait.

xo.

sleepy...

2011-03-31T22:23:00.000-07:00

sooooooo sleepy. a little bit cranky. needing a little break from my extra cranky kiddos...unfortunately spring break is just starting. wondering when the extra energy from exercising comes into play. my body is aching.

BUT...

i'm soooooooooo proud of myself. i'm working hard this week & that i've stuck it out. i feel good inside & out. i've been eating a little healthier. i've had lots of time with my kids...having so much fun. i've read a million stories & danced & played. i've seen lots & lots & lots of cows lately...which i find kind of funny. my nights have been full of crazy dreams but i'm sleeping pretty good & i love that my frogs sing me to sleep. i've baked & cooked. i've taken a ton of great pictures lately...which makes me smile. all is good.

i can barely think from being so exhausted but just wanted to write...so i could sleep. :)

choosy mom's...

2011-03-30T15:31:00.000-07:00

I'm gonna get real honest with this post. I wrote this back in February. I actually ended up turning into a paper for my english class. My teacher & class mates told me it was the best paper that I had during this quarter. I've been debating whether or not I should post it on here...but I read a post by a great mama & felt compelled to finally share...

During my few spare moments throughout the day, I can often be found reading different mommy blogs. I love to read birth stories, find new parenting ideas, diet, and exercise pointers. I love to read the thoughts and feelings of a diverse group of moms. I enjoy feeling challenged to be a better mom, by all of these lovely women. On the flip side, sometimes I read and I feel judged. I start to question myself and my self-esteem takes a hit. As a healthy enough mom, I have to remember that the choices I’ve made are nothing to be ashamed of. My kids are healthy and fantastic, despite or in spite of the choices I’ve made. I believe that moms need to give themselves and each other some grace when it comes to parenting. God chose each of us to be the mommy or daddy for each of our babies...I'm so glad he chose me for these two...

I often times won't share the birth stories of my two gorgeous babies. Having c-sections seems to carry a social stigma, these days. I certainly did not want to have two c-sections. Unfortunately, my body didn’t cooperate. My little girl was born via emergency c-section after 32 hours of painful labor. Her heart rate was dropping, as I continued through labor and she was not progressing as the doctors would like. I was raced into the operating room for my first cesarean section. After my doctor completed the surgery, she said to me "there was NO way that baby was going to fit through your pelvis." My beautiful daughter Isabel was born. She was born with quite the cone head from all of her hard work, trying to come into the world. When I first held my darling girl, I was so thankful. She was healthy, beautiful, and perfect. The shame of having a c-section was gone once I saw her sweet pink face. She was a dream baby, a perfect, perfect dream. She slept through the night after just a few weeks. She was healthy as a horse and mom's little snuggle bunny. She still is my snuggle bunny.

When it came to my 2nd baby, I knew that I didn't want to go through 32 hours of labor again and the doctor's recommendations of a scheduled C-section were haunting me. I have Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome (PCOS). The doctor told me that women with PCOS tend to have issues with a smaller pelvis. Women with PCOS also have an extremely difficult time conceiving babies, both of mine were miracles. So, I ended up deciding on having a second c-section. It was more painful and awful the second time around. In many ways I wished that I would've tried to have a Vaginal Birth After Cesarean Section (VBAC), just to see what might've transpired. However, in the end, I had a handsome, healthy, perfect baby boy. He was purposefully born on the birthday of my own mom. The only snuggle time I had with my little Markus was in the hospital on his first night of life. I held him every second and again was so thankful for such a healthy blessing. I had been spoiled with Isabel's sweet, snuggly nature. Markus was definitely not like his big sister. He was a fussy stinker. He did not like to be held, he was happiest sitting around in a swing or Boppy pillow. Now that Markus can walk and talk (and boy does he walk and talk), most of the time he is a happy camper and super healthy.

I wasn't able to breastfeed my babies. I tried but wasn't able to, due to a physical problem. I did use the breast pump, but not for long. I didn't especially like being hooked up to a machine all the time while I was trying to enjoy and bond with my baby. It was causing me a lot of frustration and many tears. The disappointment and the feeling that I was the worst mom in the world, was in my thoughts. It should not have been. Now that my children are older, ages 4 and 8, they are still perfectly healthy despite ending breast feeding so quickly. I do not feed my kids 100% organic foods. They have always eaten a variety of different proteins, dairy, fruits and vegetables. They are very good eaters and seem to be thriving well, according to their doctors and their mom. Both of them are exactly where they should be in terms of weight and height. I did and do vaccinate my children, despite the now popular opinion, not to. They have tolerated the vaccinations very well. My two children seem to be healthier than average children. They are not overweight. They have no allergies or chronic illnesses, of any kind. They are perfectly healthy kids despite being fed formula, non-organic foods and being vaccinated. I do try to feed them mostly local and organic food but I can't always make that happen and that is okay.

There are always choices to make, as a mom. My husband and I decided to circumcise our son. I allow my kids to watch a very small amount of television, daily. Only allowing them to watch shows I deem appropriate and only after homework has been completed. I choose not to spank my kids. I use the time-out method and other various (distraction) forms of discipline. I have spanked them, when I was trying to figure out which discipline I should use to get the poor behavior to stop. However, I discovered for my kids, spanking just leads to them hitting. So, we've opted not to spank. I have raised my voice to my kids and I always wish I hadn't, but sometimes being a mom can be so frustrating. I always apologize and always ask for forgiveness.

This is just a small list of choices that I've made as a mom. I feel that I am a "healthy enough" mom. My kids are great. My kids are healthy. My kids are hilarious. My kids are intelligent. We have a happy little family. We value and care for one another. The choices I've made do not make me a horrible person and they certainly don't make me a horrid mother, as some blogs, would suggest. I think we all have to do what is best for each of us, for our children and for ourselves. I have friends who spank. I have friends who allow their kids to eat fast food on a regular basis. I have friends who do not allow their child to even glance at a television and friends who allow their kids to watch TV often. I have friends who feed their children only organic food. I have friends who use cloth diapers and friends who do not. I have friends who have circumcised their sons and friends who don't. I have friends who breast feed and some who do not. I have plenty of friends who have had to have c-sections and their babies are also healthy and perfect. They are all fantastic mothers and I adore each of them. Moms are amazing people. I think that we could all use some grace and freely offer it to others. We need to support, encourage and be a little less judgmental towards one another! This job is the hardest, most amazing job there is. Let's celebrate by loving on each other and on our kids.

xo. so thankful for each of you momma's...

no more crappy path...

2011-03-28T10:07:00.000-07:00

I was having a health/weight discussion with my mom the other day. We've had many of those over the years. I was telling my mom that I'm a PRO at NOT looking at myself. When I get ready or brush my teeth for the day...I completely avoid looking in the mirror. So...in turn...when I think of what I look like, I think I'm WAYYYYYYYYY skinnier than I actually am. The problem is, when I see pictures of myself...I'm shocked & horrified. My beautiful sister's wedding was a couple months ago. I had a BLAST & wasn't concerned about what I looked like, at all! Which is huge for me. However, when we got the pictures back...I was sooooo sad to see what I actually looked like. The pictures are beautiful, don't get me wrong but I feel like I bring them down. Especially with all of those beautiful bridesmaids & bride next to me!

My mom, being the beautiful genius that she is, suggested that I take a picture of myself , of what I look like right now. Post it in my house so I can remind myself of what I look like BUT also write a bible verse above it to remind myself that regardless of what I look like I am HIS & I am wonderfully made! SHE IS SO SMART! This is exactly what I need. A reminder to LOVE myself...I'm not a mistake...God made me on purpose...HE doesn't make mistakes but also a reminder to take care of myself. So, I have done that...using one of those wedding pictures.
I started Bellingham Fit this weekend. I did this in 2009 & I LOVED it. Saturday, I felt all of those feelings come rushing back from 2009. I felt empowered once again. I do not know why I gave up on myself for 2010. Bham Fit is a marathon training program for both runners & walkers. They are amazing. They celebrate any speed, any size. I love going. This year, I decided to try the Run/Walk group, rather than just walking(even though I did run while in the walking group, but not as much as I would've liked). I really want to run. Every time I start a program, diet, exercise routine, etc...I feel soooooo amazing & I always wonder why it's so hard for me to stick with it. I still don't know the answer. But I do know it's about loving myself. I dont. I don't take care of myself. I put everyone else above myself. I'm getting much better than I used to be...but I still have a long way to go. On Saturday, during our run/walk, my coach came running up behind me and told me to get out of the sloped, gravely part of the path. He then said to me "You DESERVE to run on the good part of the path, it doesn't matter if you are running slower than someone else, you DESERVE to be on the good part of the path." After we all finished, he gathered this group of women around him and continued to explain that we truly did deserve to be on the good parts of the path, just as much as anyone else did. Yes, we could move over if someone faster is running by, but then get right back up there...we deserve to be injury free also. I thought that was soooooo true to my story. I'm often taking the crappy path because that is what I think I deserve.

Well, I've decided I want to get out of the crappy path & to look at myself with loving eyes in the mirror, this week. I'm going to continue to try & pull myself out of the gutter and be healthy & work hard to care for the gift that God has give me, this body of mine.

You too are...fearfully & wonderfully made...HIS works are wonderful...Psalm 139:14!

xo.

ps. thanks mama mia for reminding me. love you forever & ever.

cats & dogs

2011-03-25T19:42:00.000-07:00

(mommie)

"Thousands of years ago, cats were worshipped as gods. Cats have never forgotten this." ~ Anonymous

(Isabelly)
"A dog is the only thing on earth that will love you more than you love yourself." ~ Josh Billings

3 girls & a boy...

2011-03-24T18:33:00.000-07:00

3 girls & a boy walked into the woods...armed with cameras, pretzels, a purse, a basket & one sharp stick. they saw deer, birds, bugs, garbage, flowers, bunnies & somebody's napping spot. it was a sweet visit to the woods complete with owies. we are happy it is spring.

(Isabel's picture)

(Isabel's friend, Rylee's picture)

a mommy/daughter journey...

2011-03-22T19:08:00.000-07:00

My beautiful daughter Isabel & I thought it would be very fun to share with you our passion for photography by showing you daily or weekly, side by side photos. A journal of a mommy (32) & a daughter (8)...a glimpse into our sweet little life...

Today was an extra special day...we surprised the kids with a trip down to Seattle to go to the Pacific Science Center...we let them skip school & hung out just the four of us. It was soooooooo fun! Here's our pictures...Isabel's are taken with a Samsung S860 digital camera & mine are with Cannon T2i also digital.

At the Pacific Science Center, me, my mom, & pat took pictures of different things. When we were walking to the Star Wars exhibit, I took a picture of the water fountain. I think it was one of my best pictures that I took today. I didn't know we were going to the Science Center until we got there. It was so fun and we got to go to the gift shop and we got money from our grandma & grandpa to spend there. We walked and drived so long that I can barely sit still or walk. I'm excited to do this with my mom because I get to share my pictures with other people.

my grandma howell

2011-03-21T09:48:00.000-07:00

Happy 80th Birthday Grandma!

You are the sweetest grandma EVER

You have the most tender of hearts

You bring joy to soooooooooo many

You are miss volunteer with your church & the hospital

You are always there when I need a hug or some mustard or salsa or someone to talk to

You're great-grandchildren always know to expect lots of LOVES, jelly beans & cookies from Howell! ;)

You are the beautiful christmas stocking maker

You are beyond generous

You are fiercly protective of your family & strong

You are so energetic

You are the faithful follower & lover of our Heavenly Father

You are the queen of white shirts & jackets ;)

You are the most precious mom, grandma & great-grandma

You give the BEST squeezes...till the stuffing comes out

You are miss green thumb extraordinaire

You've taught all of us so much from knitting, making your caramel popcorn to clam digging

You & Grandpa brought your grandchildren so much LOVE & tenderness, the gifts of storytelling and listening to great music & the patience to listen to Fiddler on the Roof for hours on end. You shared with us your love for hunting, fishing, reading, sports, eating clams & crab. Your servants heart for grandpa was inspiring. I will always remember him winking at you & that you would bring him coffee in the morning. You both have passed on such a giant howell legacy to your children & grandchildren...we are all soooooo thankful for you & so blessed by you & grandpa!

You are the sweetest, most beautiful treasure!

You are LOVED by sooooooooo many! I love that even our friends call you Grandma Howell! What a true testament of how amazing you are when others want to claim you as theirs also!!!

When I think of you & look at you...my mind is filled with sooooooo many fun memories. So many summers spent doing yard work, fun at the cabin, all of our holiday's together. memories of you cooking in the kitchen and watching you happily buzz about. decorating christmas trees with you and playing sandwich with your big brown pillows. all of these memories & more bless my socks off!!!!

I love you GOBS, Grandma!!!!
xoxoxoxoxo.

how now brown cow

2011-03-18T17:22:00.000-07:00

There is a barn in my neighborhood that I pretty much adore. It's silly but it's true. It's a sweet little barn sorta in the city with darling brown cows, my grandma's favorite kind of cows. She would've loved this picture. I would've framed this picture for her & given it to her for her birthday in July. I miss her.

one thousand gifts...

2011-03-16T10:52:00.001-07:00

His love letter forever silences any doubts: "His secret purpose framed from the very beginning [is] to bring us to our full glory" (1 Corinthians 2:7 NEB). He means to rename us-to return us to our true names, our truest selves. He means to heal our soul holes. From the very beginning, that Eden beginning, that has always been and always is, to this day, His secret purpose-our return to our full glory. Appalling - that He would! Us, unworthy. And yet since we took a bite out of the fruit and tore into our own souls that drain hole where joy seeps away, God's had this WILD secretive plan. He MEANS to fill us with his GLORY again! With glory and grace. Choose to say YES to what he freely gives!

I'm reading this beautiful new book called One Thousand Gifts: A Dare to Live Fully Right Where You Are by Ann Voskamp, it was recommended by this blog/website that I absolutely adore. I've just been devouring it, underlining everything. Ann's writing is incredibly gorgeous, not to mention packed FULL of goodness & God's grace. When I'm reading it, I am so captivated that I'm not sure I took a breath throughout the whole chapter. The above was just a little excerpt that I underlined...just thought I would share.

heart.

2011-03-14T10:07:00.000-07:00

blast my tender heart, it always gets the better of me. life would be much simpler if i didn't care. but then what kind of life would that be anyway?

33 years

2011-03-11T08:20:00.000-08:00

Happy 33rd Anniversary Mom & Dad!

All that is lasting and good

comes from the heart of God,
and the love you share
is a reflection of how
truly good HE is.

Thank you for showing your children & grandchildren what true dedication, love, perseverance, sacrifice, kindness & a sense of humor is. We are so blessed by your relationship & thankful that you have continued to keep your promise to one another & to our Heavenly Father!

Here's to another 33 years!!!
I love you to bits & pieces.
your oldest baby

my frogs...picture heavy

2011-03-09T10:28:00.000-08:00

my frogs were wooing me to sleep, last night, with their beautiful lullaby. i'm so glad they are back...another sign that spring is almost here. it makes my heart happy to see my tulips poking their heads through, snow drops in full bloom, frogs singing, our maple trees starting to bloom...God's blessings are incredible & i'm enjoying his creation to the fullest this spring! here are some miscellaneous fun pictures i've been taking lately...ya know...just for the heck of it!

yay...temp back to normal!!!!!

my knight in shining hockey skates...#12

2011-03-08T20:56:00.000-08:00

he was in the Div. 2 championship game at our local ice arena...they lost (as you can tell by the last picture) but he was thrilled to be there & so handsome in his little outfit! i'm a very proud wife of a hockey player.

perfectly unexpected

2011-03-07T17:24:00.000-08:00

For the first time since Thursday night I was able to leave my house & leave my little boy with my very sweet in-law's! I was coming down with some serious cabin fever, to say the least!

My day was soooooo perfectly unexpected.

I went to work, it was so beautiful & sunny & foggy. I had a nice quiet drive. Work was great & I was out of there by 1. I have been aching to get out for a run/walk. I haven't been on one for a long time. I put on my capri's, fleece & laced up my 1/2 marathon shoes, leashed up the dog & we took off! It was incredible! It was absolutely beautiful & soooooo warm! We just kept going...longer than my usual route...I didn't want to stop. I did realized that when I walk Jovie in our neighborhood, I need to wear headphones, she was setting off doggie alarms everywhere. It's amazing how many people have dogs!

When I came home I laid on my deck in the sunshine for a half hour...just soaking up every ounce of sunshine that I could. I laid there and thanked God for his beautiful creation, I thanked Him for healing bub, I thanked Him for giving me just a few hours of peace! I love love love unexpected moments of peace!

I've cleaned the house, mostly. I've made signs for my hockey man's championship game tonight. I've almost completed my get healthy plan. I haven't felt motivated lately but I feel that changing!!!!! Maybe it's spring...maybe God is challenging me yet again!

God has used many challenging times in my life to bring out the best in me. I love that He's always seeking me out!

a sweet day that renewed my soul for SURE! what a blessing!

now to take a 2 hour photography test & off to a late game at the ice arena...xo.

spot of honor

2011-03-04T12:01:00.000-08:00

instead of meeting my new nephew & playing with nephew #1...our fabulous fun filled day turned into a night full of constant barfing and pooing...every 10-15 minutes on the dot by a sweet little 4 year old. i slept, um actually there was no sleeping, i laid at the end of his bed & held his barf bowl at his mouth.

at 3:07am, i decided to call that spot, the spot of honor. i love being the one that my little boy asks to hold the barf bowl. i love hearing "i love you mommy" between pukes at all hours of the night & morning. my little boy is often very independent so when he wants to be with me & snuggle with me...even if he's barfing...i'll take it. i know i won't always be the one he wants to make him feel better...but for now i'm happy to oblige. so happy to oblige even though i have a huge test to take by tonight & can barely think straight i'm so tired. so happy to oblige even though my hands are raw from washing. so happy to oblige even though i'm having to wash icky stuff out of lots of blankies, carpet & clothes.

i'm sad not to have a day of play with all 4 of my favorite kids in the whole wide world but so happy that i get loads of snuggles from my own 2 precious kiddos today!

Tomorrow, Tomorrow...

2011-03-03T15:02:00.000-08:00

Tomorrow, Tomorrow...I love ya tomorrow...you're only a day awayyyyy....

it's a big day tomorrow...Baby Eli gets to go HOME & I'm sooooooo blessed to be able to be there & to see him for the very first time in REAL life. I can hardly stand it. I'm sure tonight will be a sleepless night!

i also get to take my kiddos down to play with Eli's big brother Caleb (my nephew numero uno)...I have all sorts of fun tricks up my sleeves to make sure that Caleb has a GREAT day also. :) We have a pre-easter/scavenger egg hunt thingy...make your own playdough with kool-aid...along with some other fun things! I have to share this AWESOME website that will make you the coolest auntie/mom/grandma ever...so many FUN ideas to do with your kids! I can't wait to use them all! go to www.taylortimeonline.com Tomorrow will be a fabulous day!

starting at 6am...that shows how much I love my brother, sis & nephews! ;)

I'm so excited I can hardly stand it! I heart being an auntie soooooooo much!

hmmmm...I just can't decide what shirt to get for my new nephew...HA!

xo.

what's for lunch?

2011-03-02T12:24:00.000-08:00

When out of bread at lunch time, an old childhood standby is the perfect choice for a fun, delicious lunch...that the kids ALWAYS love!

Popcorn, Fruit & Cheese...a Howell family tradition & one of my favorites! Markus & I are pairing this with a serving of vegi's from Veggietales...Larry Boy & The Fib From Outerspace!

a perfect blustery, rainy, afternoon lunch with a perfect, hilarious, darling boy!

for Treena

2011-03-01T21:22:00.000-08:00

this is for my courageous cousin Treena...

she has joined the Navy & is fighting her way through boot camp right now! we are praying for you, Treena! i know grandma is looking down on you with an abundance of pride & love! we're cheering you on & lifting you up in our prayers (hopefully that will help during the mountain climbers and push ups)! We can't wait to celebrate your graduation & give you a HUGE hug!!! Keep seeking & relying on the one who loves you mostest of all...your Heavenly Father!

we all love you sooooooo much Katreena!
xo

my favorite reminder that spring is just around the corner...

2011-02-28T14:34:00.000-08:00

It's spring fever. That is what the name of it is. And when you've got it, you want - oh, you don't quite know what it is you do want, but it just fairly makes your heart ache, you want it so!

~Mark Twain

i heart you.

2011-02-26T11:45:00.001-08:00

A hundred hearts would be too few

To carry all my love for you.
~Author Unknown

mmmmm...

2011-02-23T13:17:00.000-08:00

Markus & Mommy made cookies!

When you are a boy, it's okay to eat your cookie, Cookie Monster style!

a snow day...

2011-02-23T10:18:00.000-08:00

6 days of homework & work = 1 day of fun

Shouldn't it be the opposite? I think so. I'm beat, completely worn out & have back pain from sitting at this darn computer for so long. I love the snow but I love the summer even more & can't wait for it's arrival!

Here's some pics of some fun things we've been doing lately...

Markus has the privilege of taking home Snuggles from pre-school. So, they've been Snuggling on this snowy morning! One of my favorite things is unexpected days off. I don't work in the office very often but today I was supposed to...yay snow!

I just have to throw these in...of my crazy cat husband...normally most of these kitties live outside but it was cold last night! :) Pat was creeped out by these pictures...we live in a zoo!

watch out for this 80's ice cream truck driver...she takes her job seriously!

We braved Chuck E Cheese, for the first time ever. I was slightly disgusted but once you get past the heat, B.O. & pizza breath, it was actually pretty clean & the kids/grandparents/parents had a BLAST. The sanitized kiddos are already asking to go back...I think I need a little more time! :)

Isabel rocks Skee Ball...she told me!

Markus, of course, found a cool (he says "tool") Star Wars game.

Now off to bake some "healthy" cookies with Snuggles & my star wars boy! I love that Markus will choose baking cookies over playing...that's my kinda boy! Happy snow day to you!!! <3>

good things...

2011-02-18T10:26:00.000-08:00

can't wait for little Eli to join the cousins...

this is a post all about the good things that are happening & dreams & treats & all kinds of lovelies that have been on my mind & heart lately...this is kinda like my 2am posts where i ramble...you're welcome! ha!

#1 on this list...little Eli, with the help of your prayers, seems to be doing amazing...who knew a 4lb bundle of joy could be so strong? ohhhh JESUS did! Check out my favorite blogs on the side & you can check up on baby Elijah Leighton through his blog that his parents are so graciously updating for us! ps. my brother is sooooooooo amazing!

#2...I had extra special snuggle time with my other nephew Caleb, he has the best laugh in the whole wide world & when he woke up from his nap flashed me that gorgeous grin of his, it melted my heart! I told my brother that playing with Caleb is like playing with my little brother all over again...when he was 3 & I was 4! I loved it. so thankful to Grandma Howell & Grandma & Grandpa Little for watching my kids so I could have some special time with Caleb on a hard day for his little brother.

#3 good thing... my sweet darling neighbor Julie who last week brought us supplies (including magic dora popsicles) for my sick little boy & then this week watched him so I could get caught up on work! she's an amazing Jesus filled friend & I just love her.

#4 studying for a test that is gonna be really hard & not a subject I excel in & ROCKIN' it!

#5 on my list...my hubby. i've been bragging about him a lot but i just can't seem to say how great he is! i love having a dreams list...which is my number 6 & having him on board with those dreams. we were talking about whether or not I should go to school this summer, he said he thought it was really important that I take the summer off so we could just play & not have to be so stressed out! which if you know pat very well, is a big deal & it just makes me giddy to think of a summer where the only thing I need to do is play with my babes.

#6 a few of the dreams for myself & my family. I've been trying to get healthy & Pat promised if I lost a certain amount of pounds that he would take me to Hawaii (I've NEVER been) and have never ever really gone anywhere for a "REAL" vacation with my hubby. Now THAT is some incentive. We have our disneyland fund going for the family as well...we should be ready for that soon! With all of that comes the dream to be completely budget conscious so that these dreams & more can be accomplished without stress on our family...no going into debt over these. Pat's amazing at that stuff...I just have to pull back a little on my gift buying for all of my buddies & kiddos. It's hard not to love on others with gifts...for me, anyway!

#7 the dream of being healthy...not a size 2 but just healthy & FIT. I think this needs to be a post all on it's own...which I will do...but I wanted to share a website of a lady who inspires me, there are many others but this sweet pea really has been blessing me lately...she's crazy amazing.
http://bonnielangfitness.com

#8 this prayer...from a book i've been enjoying lately about weight loss...this prayer is now a prayer i pray everyday. food isn't necessarily the battle, but loving myself and taking care of myself IS.

Dear God,
Please forgive me if I have failed to love every part of Your creation.
Open my eyes so that I might see,
soften my heart that I might love,
open my mind that I might understand every aspect of myself.
Heal my relationship with all of me,
that I might suffer no more violence toward myself.
Please help me, for by myself I cannot win this war.
Please lift me above the battlefield
to the peace that lies beyond.
Thank you, God.
Amen

I have a few more good things but I think I'll save them for now! Thanks for your prayers for Eli and for being fabulous friends! YOU are my #9 good thing.

xo.

Elijah Leighton: Eli's out of surgery!!!

2011-02-15T18:12:00.000-08:00

Elijah Leighton: Eli's out of surgery!!!:

update...

2011-02-14T20:36:00.000-08:00

Elijah Leighton: Eli's Heart

Please Pray for Elijah!!

2011-02-14T14:41:00.000-08:00

My brother & sister-in-law are craving your prayers, dear friends! My tiny baby nephew Eli is being transferred to Childrens Hospital as we speak...see their blog for
the info...please please pray. Thank you dear ones.

Elijah Leighton: Please Pray for Elijah!!

**update 7PM on valentine's day** baby Eli is needing to have surgery to fix his little heart, he has Total Anomalous Pulmonary Venous Return (click here for more explanation). They are going to do this very soon, possibly even tonight. Please get on your knees & pray with me for this sweet baby & his mom & dad!

Happy Sweetie's Day!

2011-02-14T09:22:00.000-08:00

I already celebrated mine with my sweetie & it was soooooo wonderful! We didn't really do anything spectacular. He made me a divine breakfast, he cleaned the house, he brought me tulips & coffee, which are my favorite. We took our little boy valentine to his grandma & grandpa's so we could have some alone time...it was so great to just be together to talk & do whatever else we felt like doing. ;) He also took me out to a fabulous & I mean fabulous dinner at Scott Brown's & I had the yummiest drink I've ever tasted...a Bellini...mmmmmm! Then dessert...it was not a diet friendly day but oh well...it was soooo great!

This has been the best valentine's day that I can remember & the greatest part is that it wasn't all that difficult to plan or expensive...it was just perfectly sweet & perfectly Pat & Katie! I love my handsome fella!

My other two sweet little valentine's also bless my little socks off! We had a great little valentine day, on Saturday, with my parents with a trip to the Jump Around Fun Zone, Red Robin & shopping to spend some valentine cash from their other grandparents. It was so fun. I have such a great family, if I do say so myself! ;)

Happy Sweeties Day to YOU!!

xo.

an interview with a 4 year old, markus

2011-02-13T09:51:00.001-08:00

1) how old are you? four

2) who are your best friends? Riley & Trevan & Jovie

3) what's your favorite thing to do? Play star wars

4) what's your favorite color? blue

5) what's your favorite food? Relish & cheese & hot dogs & apples & milk

6) what's your favorite thing to do with your family? Play with them

7) what's your favorite toy? Lego Star Wars Guys

8) what do you want to be when you grow up? A big boy

9) what makes you happy? When someone comes here & I hug them & when grandma & grandpa pick me up

10) what makes you sad? When people hit me

11) what's your favorite tv show? Chitty chitty bang bang

12) what's your favorite book? Curious George & my Star Wars Lego Book

13) what do you like to learn about? I like to learn teaching

14) what is your favorite part of your birthday? Playing with people

15) where do you like to go? To my grandma & grandpa’s house

16) who's your teacher? Mrs. Carlson & Mrs. T.

17) what's your favorite treat? Candy like chocolate

18) what do you think about before falling asleep? New legos

19) what famous person would you like to meet? Papa & Nonnie

20) what was your favorite birthday present? Hunting stuff from Papa (actually that was for Christmas)